Ok, so i knew that this day was coming. And i THOUGHT i was prepared for it. I thought i was able and ready and willing to conquer it all. I thought i was done and over with it, i didnt mean for my legs to cave in. I didnt mean for my heart to brake, i didnt mean to care, i didnt mean to cry. But somehow walking in there i knew, the second- i didnt see him there. I went home and told girl what i felt and what i thought. And then a phone call from marge just shot a dart right through my heart. She told me, "that jerry wasnt there with her cuz he went to the stupid wedding" and im all like "WHAT WEDDING?" marge goes, "oh please, dont even try it" and yea- i knew it , i felt it. She said Jerry didnt even feel like going b/c he didnt invite marge to go. And from that moment- i felt empty and sooo hurt! i really wanna disconect my heart and bleed my own heart out! im so stupid and i wish i could wish him happiness but why should i. How could he be so happy when im sad and broken down. This is a fucking wreckage! and i dont feel like typing anymore. I wanna go home and cryyyyy and see the botton of the bottle!