Im still alive, sorry that ive kinda disappeared. But i needed to have some me time and failed with flying colors. I need to breath which is why, i can not WAIT for the 22nd im hitting up six flags because my fave band is performing. I have to see taking back sunday, i feel as if my sanity is counting on it. My depression has gone futher then my own control, i feel as if im losing grip of everything. Like a sand effect- slipping thru ma fingers. So i need TAKING BACK SUNDAY. Im also planning on putting a sun roof in ma car, for the summer thats gonna cost me a nice pretty penny! about 475 pretty pennies. Tomorrow is payday- whooooo fucking hoooo. I went on a p.t. interview on rt 17 for creami its a pontic and gmc car dealership as a recpionist. I pretty much think i got it, but the thing is do i really want to da that comute and a half. Not really bro. Depends on how much ma pay would be, so i gotta see. Still thinking bout it. Someday hopefully, i will finally see and understand this fucking life and world. I feel just lost, semi broken, and feel like my head is about to cave in. My heart had stopped beating, i lost my place. *EVERY SECOND IM WITHOUT YOU IMMA MESS* .... thou i know nothing is in stone and papers could be ripped and vows could be broken, and love can fade. I loved you watching me fall. Choking on embers- wasnt anything new to me. See, damn... gotta go see tbs... all this shit dude. I gotta stop, i gotta scream.