So its been a really lonnnggg time since ive updated on this thing. Myspace owns me! Almost forgot i had a livejournal. Its funny i read back to my very first entry till now- and its all the same. Same bullshit- juss a different person, different year...same old ending.
Since my best friend will is locked up- ive been really venting and writing to him, about all my shit. I need someone to talk too- someone who will show me things that i cant see for myself. Not for nothing, but things i did see- juss didnt wanna believe. I didnt want it to get this far. I didnt wanna care, i didnt wanna lose my heart in a neverending battle. I didnt wanna surrender, or give up. I didnt wanna cry- i didnt wanna lie, i didnt want him to go, i wouldve never let go! But shit happens. But you would think by now, I'd be completely flat on my face. Eh, i thought so too. I've come a long away. And if the decision is to continue this game and stick to what we both now is right. Then thats ok. Im learning to love in differnent ways and im giving people a chance. If i know im meant to be open, i need to stop shutting them out. But memories fade further but the pain remains the same. I cant put down my armor and put this dagger down. Although, i'd rather bleed cuts of love...then live without any scars. Cuz what doesnt kill you, makes you stronger. Of course we've all heard it before...but do u live by it. Im beginning too. Theres no one else, i have to impress but my damn self. No one else i have to love but my damn self. I get major points for breathing in and out. But despite all your best intentions, fate wins anyway. The clock is counting down, and soon- the grand design shall be revealed. Our lives will be layed out in front of us, for how its al suppose to end, Some ending might suck, some might not make any sense, some might be like WTF!, Some might end in beauty, some in hell. You cant chose it, juss gotta flow with it. And pray like hell for the best. Cuz if you dont pray of the best, the worst will surely come.
P.s. His b-day is coming up... should i text?